A simple relaxation technique is an effective coping strategy for grief after the loss of a loved one, say researchers.
Their study combined two methods for treating grief: one focused on the mind, the other on the body. The researchers looked at 95 widows and widowers who lost their spouses as recently as six months or within two years of the study’s start.
“What surprised us was that the ability to focus on the body and really relax the body turned out to be incredibly important in helping people adjust,” said Mary-Frances O’Connor, associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona and senior author of the study.
“Progressive muscle relaxation is, ‘How can we help you be in the present moment but make you feel better?'”
Rumination and Yearning
Ms. Knowles, a certified mindfulness meditation facilitator, has long been interested in studying whether mindfulness could be used to address grief. She began working to answer that question when she arrived at Ms. O’Connor’s lab in 2013.Ms. O’Connor has spent decades studying grief and its key components, including the craving for a lost loved one to return, which scholars refer to as yearning, and rumination—"the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve” of loss.
“Because the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve have no real answers, you can just spin on those thoughts forever, so it can really get in the way of adapting,” Ms. O’Connor said.
What Eases Grief?
Using three questionnaires and a scale that Ms. O’Connor developed during her career studying grief, the researchers measured whether grief severity, yearning, and rumination improved in the mindfulness and relaxation groups compared to the waitlist group. They asked participants to read several statements—for example, “The feeling of wanting them back is so strong it is indescribable”—and indicate how often they feel that way on a five-point scale ranging from “never” to “always.”Both mindfulness and muscle relaxation resulted in clear improvements in participants’ grief severity and yearning. But when comparing the groups to each other, researchers found that progressive muscle relaxation was more helpful.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Another advantage of progressive muscle relaxation is that it is easier to implement than mindfulness training. Ms. Knowles noted that, even after years of practicing mindfulness, she’s still learning new ways to improve her own mindfulness practice.“But progressive muscle relaxation is this simple tool that participants just learned over and over—they practiced it as a group, they practiced it at home,” Ms. Knowles said. “In the end, I think one thing we’re pulling from this is that having this clear focus on the body may be more beneficial for folks who are grieving, compared to introducing them to more of this mindfulness toolkit that takes much more time to become an expert in.”
“There are a lot of people dealing with the stress of bereavement right now—far too many to have a psychologist work with each one,” Ms. O’Connor said. “If we think about bereavement at a public-health level, which the pandemic has forced us to do, giving people something they can do at home to relax their body during this stressful time could have a really large impact on our public health.”
